Can you have too much of a good thing? Oh yeah. It's true. You can take my word on that. I know from personal experience.
Of course, it does all depend upon the thing. There are some things of which one can never have too much. Take for example... nip.
One can never have too much nip. There isn't enough nip in the world for there to be too much nip. There isn't enough nip in the universe for there to be too much nip. There's just never enough nip.
Oh sure... I have a few nip-filled biff-bags here and some nip-mice there but why stop with those? What about pillows? Comforters? The very mattresses, themselves? Can you imagine drifting off to sleep on a nip-filled mattress with your head resting on a nip-filled pillow and keeping you warm, a comforter filled with the nip? Bliss.
If my peeps wanted to do somethin' really nice for me, they would make that happen. MOUSES!
And while we're discussin' the nip, I'd really like to know why my meals aren't bein' served with nip garnishes on the side. A few sprigs of nip would really spruce up that plate of grilled tuna, you know? Of course you do. And a bowl of iced nip tea would be very refreshing on a warm summer day. And in the winter, some hot nip cider would be lovely. Or some nip-infused warm milk to lull me to sleep on my nip-filled mattress with my head resting on my nip-filled pillow with a comforter filled with the nip, wrapped around me, keepin' me warm and toasty.
Like I said, if my peeps wanted to do somethin' really nice for me they would make that happen. Again I must say, MOUSES!
If I had my way, nip would grow everywhere. There would be nip growin' in the lawn. Scratch that. The very lawn itself would be comprised of nip with just a little grass, here and there, for occasional munchin'. Nip growin' with weed-like abandon. I only wish! It would be beautiful.
Gosh, I sure do hope my peeps are takin' notes on this.
But back to the stuff of which one can have too much. Take for example... cuddles.
It's true. One can have too many cuddles. That Peep #1 of mine is constantly pickin' me up and cuddling me. Mornin', noon, night... It doesn't make any difference to her. There is no room in the house that is safe from a cuddle. I'll be standin' there in the kitchen waitin' for a snack and the next thing I know, she's scoopin' me up in her arms and cuddlin' me.
Sometimes I wonder if she's gonna cuddle the fur right off my back. Seriously. After those cuddling sessions, she's covered in my fur. It's all over her. One day, I'm gonna emerge from a cuddlin' as bald as bald can be and Peep #1 is gonna be lookin' like a sterling silver - some say platinum - tabby cat. MOUSES!
And it's not just the cuddles. Oh no, she doesn't stop there. There's all the kissing and the oohs and the ahhs and the I-love-you-sweeties that accompany those cuddles. I know she means well and everything but seriously, it's bad for my mancat image. I mean, she already gave me a girls' name. How much more can my mancat image take?
And do you know what else? SHE. EVEN. DOES IT. IN PUBLIC.
That's right, my friends. Peep #1 will pick me up, outside. In the driveway. Or the front lawn - which, by the way, is not filled with catnip growin' with weed-like abandon. She'll pick me up where all the world can see. And she'll smother me with kisses. And cuddles, too! All the while oohing and ahhing... It's so embarrassing. It's humiliating, for sure. Again I must say, MOUSES!
But as embarrassing and humiliating as those public cuddle sessions are, there are other things out there... out there in this vast universe... and in other, parallel universes, as well. Things of which one can - even more easily - have too much. Take for example... neighbour cats. Nosey neighbour cats, in particular.
For two weeks, my Peep #1 looked after that nosey, nosey neighbour cat, who happens to be my neighbour. For two whole weeks, she was trottin' over to his house every mornin' and lettin' him out and inviting him over to mine. For two whole weeks, she would take him back to his house every evening and make him his dinner - which, by the way, may very well have had a nip garnish on the side.
And do you know what else? SHE EVEN GAVE HIM CUDDLES.
It's true. Now, I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin' that I should be grateful to that nosey neighbour cat for puttin' up with some of the cuddles of which I was clearly havin' too many. You're thinkin' that nosey neighbour cat was actually doin' me a favour. You're thinkin' that I should probably thank nosey neighbour cat for puttin' up with the cuddles and kisses, easing my burden of bein' overly cuddled and kissed. MOUSES!
Good news is, nosey neighbour cat's peeps are back from their vacation. Bad news is, I'm once more bein' smothered in cuddles.