Sunday, 24 August 2014

the coffeeless peep

Do you know what you get when you withhold coffee from a peep?  I'll tell you what you get.  You get one crazy peep.  MOUSES!

And when I say crazy, I mean CRAZY. Crazier than a squirrel makin' nut pies kind of crazy, if you know what I mean.

Now before anyone starts thinkin' that I, Nerissa the Cat, am responsible for the peep's lack of coffee, I'm not.  It wasn't me.  It wasn't my fault.  It was all the fault of the peep.

I know...  I know...  I would have been well within my rights to withhold Peep #1's coffee as punishment for her havin' totally ruined my loo. Remember how she did that? Remember how she planted those primroses and completely and utterly ruined my loo?  She certainly would have deserved to be punished for that.  Would have deserved that, for sure.

But I did not withhold coffee from the peep on account of her ruinin' my loo 'cause I'm not that kind of cat.  I'm not the kind of cat who holds a grudge.  I'm not that kind of cat at all.

Besides, by conventional standards, the withholding of coffee from a peep could be considered cruel and unusual punishment.  I'm far too nice a guy to do somethin' like that.  What's more, I would be left dealin' with said coffeeless peep.  I'm far too smart a guy to want to have to deal with that.  I'm not crazy.  The world of crazy totally belongs to the peep.

I was asked by some of the other cats in my family if I was performin' some sort of  scientific experiment upon the peep.  If I was performin' an experiment to see just how crazy that crazy ol' peep of mine would get without her daily fix of coffee.  I had to point out to my fur-fam that an experiment such as that would not only be unethical but also, incredibly crazy.  That performin' such an experiment would be crazy beyond crazy and that clearly, the world of crazy, belongs to the peep.

And the squirrels.  Those nut pie makin' squirrels.  There's a family of 'em livin' in the oak tree at the end of my driveway. They're pretty crazy, for sure.

The peep's lack of coffee was not due to a cruel and unusual form of punishment exacted by myself.  Nor was it due to some sort of insanely unethical experiment bein' performed by crazy nut pie makin' squirrely scientists.  The peep's lack of coffee was due to none other than the peep.  The peep bein'... well...  a peep.

Let me explain...

On the first day, the peep filled up the coffeemaker with water before turning it on.  Unfortunately, she forgot to add the coffee.  Yes, she forgot to put any ground coffee into the coffeemaker.

Do you know what happens when a peep forgets to put the ground coffee in the coffeemaker?  I can tell you exactly what happens.  What happens is that said peep ends up brewin' a big ol' pot of hot water.  MOUSES!

On the second day, the peep remembered to add the ground coffee and before you ask, yes, she remembered to add the water, too.  However, she forgot to turn the coffeemaker on.  That little button at the front of the coffeemaker?  It controls everything.  It even controls whether or not there's coffee for the peep.  You don't turn it on?  You don't get your coffee.  MOUSES!

On the third day...

Well on the third day, the peep got her coffee.  I made sure of it.  I stood there and watched over her, makin' sure she did everythin' correctly.  I couldn't deal with a coffeeless peep for a third day in a row.  I just couldn't stand it.  I had to make sure the peep got some coffee in her, once and for all.

I was beginning to think that perhaps my peep was even crazier than originally thought.  Crazier than your typical crazy peep.  Crazier than squirrels makin' nut...  Nah, no one is as crazy as that.

And if she wasn't crazy, she was bein' down-right forgetful.  Bein' down-right forgetful, for sure.  Either that or she was nipped.

Oh my gosh...  I just thought of somethin'.  What if the peep was nipped on my nip?  MOUSES!

I've gotta go check on my stash.  Be right back.

37 comments:

  1. Oh no the poor Peep. No coffee. Bet she said some norty words. Did you cover your ears Nissy?? You all have a Happy Sunday.

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  2. Confession: I've brewed hot water too. I've also brewed a pot of coffee without putting the carafe underneath it. Not good at all. Some days you need coffee in order to brew your coffee!

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  3. OMC, the things you have to put up with! I hope your peep gets the scheduled portions of coffee going on smoothly! You know what, my secretary never drinks coffee! She doesn't like the taste at all! She likes the smell of coffee, but not the taste. I guess it can be considered as weird. She is a tea person. I don't know if that is weird or not.

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  4. Nerissa, we know this is serious, but we could not help but giggle at your peep!
    Boy, she sounds like somebean that needs coffee:o
    Our Mom makes it a cup at a time with a gizmo on top of the cup and you pour water through it.However, she gets panicky when she forgets to buy coffee and the container is close to empty!
    This paw holding of humans is stressful sometimes.
    Hope your nip is safe!
    Purrs Georgia and Julie,
    Treasure and JJ

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  5. Hmm.... ours doesn't drink coffee, but Ceiling Cat help anyone who gets in the way of her tea!

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  6. Oh Nissy I feel so sorry for you and your roommates. There is nothing worse than a peep who has not had their coffee. We hope she gets over it soon and takes another cup of coffee!

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  7. Our mom bean isn't crazy without her coffee....she's downright freaking scary! And cranky, dopey, and plain old dumb. No point talking to her.

    But somehow in that little pea-brain she 'members how to give us our breakfast. You're right, they is hard to train but repetition pays off, MOL

    Sasha, Sami, & Saku

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  8. Oh,Nissy your peep is getting old and her little grey cells are no longer working very well.You must be sympathetic and hold her paw after all she'll be forgetting your breakfast one day!!!!Love and hugsXXXX

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    1. Forgettin' my breakkies? No.... Say it isn't so. PLEASE...

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  9. You don't even want to go within 100 miles of my mum before she has 2 cups of strong coffee. She's a doddle after that though.

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  10. Maybe it wasn't coffee in that machine but your Nip! She wasn't rolling on the floor was she?

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  11. OMC I hope she didn't get into your nip stash! Little worried about the forgetfulness on the caffeine front though..... just saying....

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  12. Our people don't do this coffee thing. We wonder if they would have the same reaction if we withheld the tea . . . .

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  13. lol ruined your loo? That just won't do. Karma I'd say. At least it was her fault and not some nutty squirrel lol

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  14. The head peep has done the "forget the coffee grounds" coffee thing more times than we probably should tell the internet. It's embarrassing -- and not a good scene, either!

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  15. MOL, sounds like your peep needs her coffee before she can even make it right!

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  16. Nissy, our mom will not feed us in the morning until after she makes the coffee. We've tried to convince her otherwise, but no way, no how. We will not interfere with her coffee.

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  17. Your poor Peep, it is awful to go without coffee. It is like going without nip--by the way, is your stash still there?

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  18. Nissy, nipped or not...as long as your peep doesn't forget to feed you and your fursibs...it's all good! XO, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

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  19. This post made Mommy's hair stand on end...she says the day the french press leaves her hand is the day they pry it outta the death grip!

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  20. LOL Nissy, sorry but I identify with your peep, my coffee comes before anything. My cats just leave me to my coffee first thing in the morning, I have two cups before doing chores and they know the routine to a tee. Once I finish my second cup, they don't let me forget a thing, but they leave me be for the two LOL. Nice of you to watch over your peep the third day, bet it made your whole day a better day.

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  21. No coffee??? Oh, that sounds like the premise for a horror movie, according to the peeps here, Nissy!

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  22. Maybe that's why my new human drinks energy drinks in the morning - she just has to crack them open. BTW, she says thank you for your kind words regarding Sparkle - she still misses her lots.

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    1. So very pleased to meet you, Summer!

      Your new human always will miss Sparkle but over time, the pain will subside and what will be left are the memories and the overwhelmin' feelin' of love. And I just know that havin' you in her life is gonna help her feel a lot better, very soon. purrs

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  23. Phew, so glad you were there to make sure your peep got her coffee. Hope she didn't get into your nip stash!!!

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  24. Well sometimes the ole' peeps require more snoopervising than normal,xx Speedy

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  25. We relate Nissy. The Peep Dad furgets the same things. Usually not in a row thanfully but he can be quite the cranky fellow when he gets up and... no hot brown liquid.
    I don't see the attraction myselves but, if he likes it and it wakes him up enough to get breakfast going what the fur-ball
    Timmy

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  26. What would you human do if you were not there to snoopervise ? Purrs

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  27. Our peep has to have coffee too. . .

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  28. You don't think she would have raided your stash...would she?

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  29. Eeek no coffee? Mamma wouldn't know how to wake up with no coffee!

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  30. Oh I know for sure, peeps can't live without coffee :-D

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  31. Uh, we definitely think the peep was into your nip stash...oh yes we do! And Nissy, you are so correct to NEVER withhold coffee from peeps...it would not go over well, that's for sure...

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  32. Yep Nissy even tho' weez bug mommy to pieces while her's twyin' to hav hers meownin' coffee, even weez let hers dwink sum eventually. Peeps wiff out their coffee is a pawful fing. They do get cwazy. MOL

    Luv ya'

    Dezi

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  33. had she been into your nip stash Nissy??? The horror of it!!

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