Sunday, 10 August 2014

in the doghouse, for sure

MOUSES!  It happened again.

So the other night, Peep #1 was out and about, walkin' the streets of the neighbourhood at some ungodly hour, wearin' nothin' but her nightie... AGAIN.

This time, I knew she wasn't a ghost.  This time, I knew it wasn't Hallowe'en in July.  This time, I knew it was just the peep.

I knew the peep was just the peep and not a ghost or somethin' on account of  her nightie havin' some flowers on it.  Ghosts don't wear flowers.  And I knew it wasn't Hallowe'en in July because it was already August.  The very beginning of August, yes, but August, nonetheless.  Can't have Hallowe'en in July in August.  That wouldn't make sense.

But there was my peep, walkin' around in her nightie at quarter-to-two in the mornin', carryin' nothin' but a flashlight in her paw.  She wasn't flashin' the neighbourhood or anythin' though.  Like I said, she was wearin' a nightie.  MOUSES!

Of course, you all remember that the last time this happened was when Peep #1 was out lookin' for my brother, Seville, and then my sister, Tess, magically escaped through the almost-closed livin' room window.  Well this time, Tess was not involved.  Seville was but Seville is not the one who ended up in the doghouse.  It wasn't Seville's fault, at all.

This time, Seville was not the perpetrator but rather, he was the perpetratee.  He was the victim. The victim of a great injustice.  A crime, for sure.  The crime of unlawful confinement.

Picture it.  Quarter-to-two in the mornin', way past all our bedtimes - we're all supposed to be in the house, long before that -  when Peep #1 realises that Seville isn't inside, sound asleep somewhere and dreamin' of nip mice and whisks.  She goes lookin' for him.  She calls his name from both the front and back doors but to no avail.  Hmmm...

So that's when Peep #1 grabbed a flashlight and headed on outside.  She walked up and down the driveway, usin' her soft, don't wake up the neighbours voice and callin', "Seville...  Seville... Sivvers..." but it did no good.  There was no sign of that marmie brother of mine.  Not any sign, at all. So then the peep started walkin' up and down the street, still callin' his name.

I was watchin' Ol' Peepers' middle-of-the-night escapades from a window but couldn't hear her 'cause like I said, she was usin' her don't wake up the neighbours voice.  I could see her though.  Yup, I could see her prancin' around the neighourhood in her nightie, carryin' nothin' but a flashlight and I was hopin' and prayin' that she did not call too loudly and end up wakin' those neighbours after all 'cause I could just imagine who they might call.  Perhaps it would be the men in blue but more likely, they'd be callin' the men in white who would cart her off to a place where she would be sportin' a nice little jacket that was particularly straight.  And should that happen, my breakfast would most likely be late.  MOUSES!

Anywho...  Ol' Peepers was out there callin' and callin' for Seville.  Eventually, she returned to our own yard but there was still no marmie brother in sight.  Again I say...  MOUSES!

Peep #1 continued to parade up and down the driveway for a bit.  I was later informed that the reason for this secondary paradin' was that the peep thought she could hear Sivvers cryin'.  It was not, as I first suspected, a desire to start up a one-peep parade.

The peep thought she could Seville cryin' very faintly.  His voice was so plaintive.  She couldn't tell where it was comin' from.  Was he hurt somewhere?  In the garden?  In the ditch?  Was he okay?

Finally, the peep wondered if...  Could it be?  No...  IMPOSSIBLE.  No one had been in the garage all day long, but...  Hmmm...

So Peep #1 went over to the garage and opened that ol' garage door.  And what before her wondering eyes did appear?  Why, that marmie brother of mine, of course.  It was my brother, Seville and believe-you-me, he was awfully happy to have been found.  Out of the garage he leapt and started purrin' and speakin' to my peep, tellin' her all about the terrible thing that had happened.

While it was true that Peep #1 had not been in the garage that day, the same could not be said for Peep #2.  Around four in the afternoon, said second peep had gone into the garage to get a broom.  The garage door had been left open for only a short little while but with us cats, a short little while is really all it takes.  Mischief comes lookin' for us, you see.  We don't look for it.  It just appears and asks us to cooperate.

Anywho...  Around four in the afternoon, the garage door had been open and when Peep #2 was closin' it afterwards, said secondary peep did not - as any good peep should do - double check to make sure no one was in there, left behind.  So the door was closed and that, my friends, was that.

Unfortunately for Seville, the garage door closin' was like the slammin' shut of the bars of a jail cell and thus began his period of unlawful confinement.  His almost ten-hour-long ordeal.  The horror! The horror of all horrors!  He had done nothin' wrong.  He had simply co-operated with our long-lost pal, mischief. Okay, maybe not so long-lost but definitely a pal.

Seville is still quite upset about the whole affair.  Physically, he's fine.  Emotionally however, he's a wreak.  Can you blame him?

I'm thinkin' of takin' a couple on-line legal courses so that I can act as his lawyer.  You know, in case Seville wants to take legal action against Peep #2.  I'm thinkin' he could sue for nip and I, as his lawyer, would receive a percentage of the nip which sounds pretty good to me.  In fact, it sounds so good that I might encourage a couple of my sisters to accidentally get themselves locked in the garage by Peep #2, as well, but we'll wait and see how Seville's case goes, first.


Meanwhile, Peep #2 is currently residin' in the metaphorical doghouse of all doghouses.  Can't reside in a real doghouse on account of us not livin' with any dogs and therefore, not havin' a real doghouse in which to reside.  But the point is bein' made and bein' made well, I can assure you.  Yup, the second peep is in the doghouse, for sure.

By the way...  Anyone out there know the standard percentage of nip a civil lawyer who happens to be a cat with just a couple on-line legal courses under his collar can charge from a nip settlement?  Anyone? Anyone at all?  Surely someone must know.  MOUSES!

24 comments:

  1. just milk it for Seville for all its worth Nissy,xx Speedy

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  2. I feel that as a pro-bono catvocate you should be able to claim 50% of any settlement

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    1. Fifty percent, huh? I like it! purrs

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  3. Your Secondary Peep sounds just like OUR Daddy! We can't count the times he's locked one of us the wardrobe. Or that one time he decided to put some cables in the storeroom to keep it safe from us only for Mommy to discover he had locked Cosmo in the storeroom WITH the cables. We guess we ought to be thankful Mommy does a headcount several times a day. Oh, did we mention about the time Daddy trapped Whisky under his recliner and left her there for at least 20 minutes and almost gave Mommy a heart attack?

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  4. Poor Seville ! Both Angel Loupi and Angel Céleste, one after the other, stayed locked in the neighbor's garage for a whole night : they were totally stricken ! We think that 50% of any settlement is a good deal. Purrs

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  5. Yep, sounds like a lawsuit is in the offing here!

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  6. Oh dear Seville you were banished to the darkened dreaded dungeon aka the garage. OH MY. Yes indeed you will be most affected emotionally distraught. YOU must seek the proper restitution!

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  7. 50% doesn't sound too bad Nerissa, 50% for Seville and the other 50% for you! That was a 100% scary ordeal for Seville!

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  8. LOL well it is actually 30% but as the intelligent cat that you are, of course you are going to bargain and don't forget to get Seville to sign the agreement right away. You wouldn't want him to renege after all your good lawyer work. Great Story by the way.

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  9. 30% for settlement, 40% for trial, 50% if appealed.

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  10. So...much like our story today of Misty May's forays into the basement. Poor, Seville, 10 hours is a long time. Hope he got some extra treats! Our angel, Louise, got shut in a neighbor's basement for two weeks. It was a terrible ordeal as our humans searched for her efurryday, and then when they found her, she was too, too frightened to come out. Hope Peep #2 has learned his lesson. XO, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

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    1. Two weeks? Two WHOLE weeks? MOUSES! That must have been really, really awful. purrs

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  11. Peep #2 should sleep in the garage.

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  12. Oh man! Poor Seville! Once I got locked out in the garage for about 2 hours! And that was the worse! I thought I was gonna be stuck in there forever! But I did make sure I walked all over the peeps cars leaving my footprints everywhere. And when the mom finally discovered that I was in there, she felt so sorry...and gave me lots of treats to make up for it. ~Ernie

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  13. OH Noes!! Will Sevvy be OK??? Can he recover in time to help with the new clues Silver brought back from his walk about???

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  14. That really is some unlawful confinement! We're glad Seville got found safely,and we're sure the neighbors enjoyed the one-peep-parade, too.

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  15. You have to milk this for all it's worth!! The longer you milk it the more compensation you will get! And as his legal aid, I would say you should get at least 50% if not more as you're doing all the hard work!!

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  16. UGH!!! I'm glad that's where he was though, and not hurt somewhere!
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

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  17. Well Nissy what a howwible fing to happen to Seville. As fur yous purrcentage, yous shuld least get 30%, dat's what any good cat lawyer wuld chawge. MOL

    Luv ya'

    Dezi

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  18. doodz.....good thing seville bee founded bee fore peep 1 KNEADED a lawyerz... coz de nayborz be a callin de poe lease...then her mite a getted a discount law soot purr centage...by filin WITH seville a gainst peep two...♥

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  19. Next time, keep out of the garage LOL.

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  20. Oh! Poor Seville! We sure are glad Peep number one has some good hearing. Otherwise, who knows how long that unlawful confinement would have lasted???

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  21. Oh poor Seville! Glad your Peep #1 has such excellent hearing!

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