Sunday, 23 February 2014

just say you're sorry, already

It has come to my attention that, apparently, we Canadians say we're sorry a lot.  Until recently, I was unaware of this.  I mean, I'm a Canadian kitty and I don't go around apologizin' to everyone all the time.  Oh sure, when I need to apologise, I do, 'cause that's the right thing to do but I don't go all crazy, apologizin' all willy nilly, all over the place to everyone and his dog.  That would be silly.  That would be stupendously silly.  MOUSES!

Just recently, the incredibly talented Patrick Chan apologised to Canada when he won the silver medal at the Olympics.  I don't think he needed to apologise at all.  I mean, HE WON A SILVER MEDAL!  That's a pretty impressive thing.  But I guess he had really hoped to win the gold and knew he had an excellent chance at winnin' the gold so when he won the silver, he apologised.  Maybe he didn't actually need to apologise but, for some reason, he felt that he needed to do so.  That apology came from his heart.  I could tell when I listened to it.  I'm sure of it.  Brought a tear to my eye, it did. What a Canadian hero he is.

But that got me to thinking.  Here was someone apologising who didn't actually need to apologise 'cause he had done nothing wrong when there are all sorts of other folks out there who have done things wrong and should be apologising but never do.  Peeps are a weird lot, I think.  Sometimes I can't tell if they're comin' or goin'.  Sometimes I wonder if they can tell, themselves.

The fact of the matter is, there are a heck of a lot of peeps who believe they should never say they're sorry.  Never, never, not ever.  They even tell other peeps, "Never say you're sorry."  MOUSES!

I have come to the conclusion that peeps who refuse to apologise fall into one of two groups.

Some of 'em think they should never apologise 'cause they believe they never do anything wrong so they have no need to apologise. That's crazy talk, that is.  Crazier than a squirrel makin' nut pies, kind of crazy.  Can anyone really believe they can go through their entire life never doin' anything wrong?  Never?  As a cat, I come pretty much as close to perfection as possible and even I have done things wrong.  For instance, there was that incident with the nip and... um... on second thought, never mind.  The details are not important. Bottom line is, I have apologised for things I may have done that I shouldn't have done in a moment of nipped-up nippiness. I have apologised and I'm proud to admit it.  MOUSES!

The other group of peeps, who never apologise, are the ones who believe that an apology is a sign of weakness.  These are the ones who go around sayin' that sayin', "Never say you're sorry."  These are the peeps who think that if they say they're sorry, they're admitting that they've done something wrong and that somehow that makes them less of a person. No...  that would make them human 'cause let's face it, humans screw up.  Every human does it. It's in their nature.  Nothin' to be ashamed of.  Just somethin' that happens.

But when you fess up to doin' something wrong, that doesn't make you weak.  On the contrary, it makes you strong.  Only the strongest and bravest peeps are capable of makin' an apology. Running away and hiding from an apology you need to make... that's being weak.  That's being a coward. Cowards run from things they should do.  Cowards run away from apologies they should make.  I'm certain of this.  There is nothin' shameful about makin' an apology when an apology is due.  Nothin' shameful at all.

Peeps have just gotta remember that we all make mistakes.  We all, every now and then, do somethin' we shouldn't do.  We need to face up to those mistakes and own them.  Making a mistake is normal.  Admitting to said mistake is heroic.  It's easy to make a mistake - and we all do it - but it's really hard to face the person affected by the mistake and tell them that you're sorry that you did what you did.  It's hard to tell the peeps most hurt by your actions that you're sorry.  It's really hard.  That's why, only the bravest and most heroic peeps out there are capable of making an apology.  In fact, I would go so far as to say that the bravest three words anyone can ever say are, "I am sorry."  MOUSES!

We can't run away and hide from our mistakes 'cause until we apologise for 'em, our mistakes will follow us like mouse on a cheese cracker.  You see, the peeps out there to whom you should be apologising?  They know you should be apologising to them and they will remember.  They will always remember.  It's not that they're tryin' to be mean, holding your mistakes against you.  It's because your mistakes have hurt them and it's hard to forget bein' hurt. That's why you owe them the apology.  Until you say, "I'm sorry," they'll always remember the hurt.  Apologise and both sides are far more likely to get over it and move on.

Do some peeps believe that if they go through their entire life never apologising for anything that everyone else will believe that they've never ever done anything wrong?  Probably.  Yeah, probably 'cause some peeps can be really...  ummm...  well...  let's just say that every box of tacks contains one or two tacks that aren't overly sharp.

A word to the wise...  and I say this from my own personal experience from when havin' to apologise to a couple of cats livin' in my house with me.  When makin' an apology, do make sure that the apology is sincere.  An insincere apology is just as bad a non-existent apology.  Maybe even worse. It's like you're mockin' the person to whom you owe the apology.  That's not good.  You've already hurt them once.  Mocking them with an insincere apology would be hurting them a second time. That's just wrong.  So very, very wrong.  I realise that now.

Also, try not to make too many excuses.  Try not to try to explain why you did whatever it was that you did.  Explanations are seen as excuses 'cause usually they are.  It's like you're giving the wronged person reasons for what you did.  Like you're telling 'em you had to do whatever you did and are now tryin' to mitigate your actions.  You've gotta own what you did and just say you're sorry. Anything else makes the apology less of an apology, for sure.

Never blame the nip.  I've been there, I've done that and uh...  well...  it's not important now.  Just don't try to explain.

No one likes having to apologise.  No one enjoys it.  No one gets their thrills by apologising.  Not even us Canadian kitties.  Apologising is hard work.  Super hard.  Super heroic.  We apologise when needed because we have to do it 'cause it's the right thing to do.

So what do you do if you're just not brave enough to apologise?  Well...  Hmmm....

I think that what it all comes down to is this.  If you really don't like sayin' the words, "I am sorry," you should stop doin' stuff for which you need to say, I'm sorry.  It's a thought.  Don't you think?

44 comments:

  1. Wise wise words Nissy! Finns don't apologise, well hardly ever.

    But I am very sorry - sorry you Canadians got gold in the ice hockey and we only got the bronze.

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    1. Finland got the bronze! Yoo-hoo! Did you know that my Peep #1's daddy was born in Finland?

      Purrs,
      Nissy

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  2. Wow that is a lot of deep thinking for an Easy Sunday. It is all so very true though! It is best to apologize early and not let the hurt fester because it makes it harder for the one you hurt to truly forgive you too. Thanks for the deep thoughts Nerissa!
    Marty

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  3. Quite right Nissy you've hit the nail on the head,xx Speedy

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  4. Nissy you said it all and very very well!! Bravo!!!

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  5. Apologies is good. I used to apologize by putting my nose on someone, and then they would pet me. :)

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  6. All that is so very true but we all make mistakes many times. So just fess up and say you are sorry. Great post. Hope all of you have a great day.

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  7. I was thinking the same thing about Patrick Chan, the poor man apologizing?!?!
    I hope I can speak for all us Canadians and say we were super proud of him regardless!
    Gold, silver, or no medal, we would have been proud of his effort anyways!
    Cuz that's how we are!
    I have been told I apo!ogize to much, even people!e on Twitter have said to me "stop saying sorry, u didn't do anything" or when something bad has happened to someone I know, I always say, oh I'm so sorry. And their all like, um you didn't do anything so why u apologizing. I have a big heart and when my friends hurt I hurt, so its hard not to be sorry for their situation.
    Great post today Nissy!
    ((Husky hugz))
    Frum our pack at love is being owned by a husky

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  8. Well, there is a certain tortie here who NEVER apologizes for anything.

    Okay, so none of us kitties here ever apologize. But "certain tortie" has more to not-apologize for!

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  9. Now that I'm thinking of it... I do say 'sorry' a lot, usually for futile things like being five minutes late, or being tired and wanting to go home early in the evening.

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  10. Wow ! Deep thinking for a not so easy Sunday, but so well said ! Purrs

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  11. As an ex-pat Canadian, I've found my natural niceness challenged living in the U.S. Our cats follow the never complain, never explain rule. And MOUSES, cats can see through a bogus apology in a heartbeat.

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  12. Yes, you're right about the types of people! I think the Brits tend to say sorry quite a lot too! But, when it comes down to it, I suppose that cats are only human too! If you get my drift...

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  13. This is a really good post,Nissy. After such deep thinking..you need a nap..or your own show on TV at the very least.
    The REAL Maple Syrup Mob xxxxx

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  14. So sorry that I don't visit your blog often. How's that ?

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  15. Well Nissy you "hit the nail on the head" this time with your post. (Don't ask me what that means, M inserted that line when I wasn't looking and she won't take it out. - I don't see nay nails and I don't see a hammer). But we say we're sorry a lot too - apologize for things that we don't have to apologize for. Guess it's human nature. It's not cat nature tho, and I don't say I'm sorry unless I've done something really bad. Everyone knows, I am the perfect cat and never do anything wrong! (he he)

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  16. Good one, Nissy! If you mess up, say you're sorry, and everybody can move along rather than drawing things out. Peeps overthink things WAY too much.

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  17. Excellent Nissy! We totally agree :)
    We are Canadian kitties and we just can't help it when we say "sorry"
    It's a Canadianism, eh!
    heehee
    Purrs Georgia and Julie,
    Treasure,JJ
    and Angels Tiger and Tillie

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  18. Awwwwww Mr Chan apologising for his silver medal is too adorable! Yes, a true athlete and hero!

    Do you remember that film "The Love Story"? The tagline was "Love means never having to say you're sorry". We always thought that weird! Of course love means compromising and apologising as and when necessary! And totally sincerely too! It means you are communicating and clearing the air! Mouses indeed!!

    Take care
    x

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  19. Good advice Nissy! My husband falls into BOTH groups that you mentioned! Me, being Jewish, well, you heard about Jewish guilt, (oh and Catholic guilt from what I understand too lol)........well.....I never STOP saying I'm sorry!

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  20. Well stated my friends! Some humans we know are pretty sorry fur sure MOL!

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  21. We are sorry to say we do say sorry a lot. sigh! Your Canadian pals Lee and Phod

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  22. congratulations on winning Best Funny Blog and 2nd in Best Pet Blog.and Best Blog Post. We are so happy for you!

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  23. Well. Mommy's credo is "It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission", so she apologises, lots! Maybe that's not in the precise spirit of things, for which she is very, very sorry.

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  24. yup...Mom Linda stopped using the "Sorry..." word to start her sentences...and started asking questions about what was being experienced...etc...and mostly we use "we apologize" if we feel we have been accountable for a mistake, inappropriate behavior...and we work very hard to NOT do that again...hope we heard your message Nissy, paw pats, Savvy and Mom Linda

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  25. I think it's the Humans that really need to practice with all that apology stuff. I mean, we kitties--well, we really DON'T ever do anything wrong, really, so I gotta say, I have never really said I am sorry, even though sometimes, I kind of am. Even though it really isn't ever my FAULT really. It's pretty much always the Human.

    Say, CONGA-RATS on your Big Win in the Blog Contest!!!

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  26. Nissy wise words...and I agree with you.. we all make muck ups...because sadly we are human and not feline...it's being sincere saying sorry and showing sorry by a change of behaviour that make us strong. And also when we feel we are not going to get that apology learning when to walk away with our heads held high. I am really sad your athlete felt the need to apologise....a sign of the times maybe ...very sad. Hugs Fozziemum x

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  27. Concats to ALL the medals Canada won at the Olympics! Especially the gold for hockey! We were rooting for you. Thanks for stopping by yesterday to with our mom a happy birthday.

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  28. Great post Nissy, and very true, don't say sorry if mew don't mean it. We can always see-through an insincere apology....

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  29. Big thinking for a Sunday Nissy. You are a “chat philosophe”.
    I … apologize, but I am just a country cat. It is too philosophic for me …!
    Ronrons.
    Hisia

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  30. You said it purrfectly, Nissy. You covered every single bit with regards to saying sorry. EVERY.SINGLE.BIT. What peeves Mommy most is when people make insincere apologies for exactly the reason you mentioned. It comes off as if that person was making a mockery of the whole thing.

    Very well written, Nissy. Thank you.

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  31. Hope you didn't do anything lately that requires an apology. That dog needs to be coming back to your house and apologizing for the stinky "present" he left y'all…but then we digress. Mom wants to know why 90 percent of those who win a silver or bronze medal seem to think they are a failure. They are second or third best in the whole world. Most of us will never even be 100th best at anything. But with that said, concatulations on your First and second place wins in the Canadian blog awards. Those are some mighty big achievements, for which you never will have to say you are sorry. Thank you for continuing to amuse, entertain and enlighten us. Purrs and paw-pats, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

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  32. Oh I SO agree with you....if it's tough to be apologetic then don't make it TOUGH on yourself and don't do something you'd later need to apologize for! EASY PEASY yet some peeps make it ever so hard on themselves don't they???

    Hugs, Sammy

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  33. Bravo, Nissy! You are so right about some humans needing to learn how to apologize. And yes, an insincere apology is almost worse than none at all!

    ConCATS on your Canadian Blogger Awards! We are SO PROUD of you! :)

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  34. Truer words were never meowed. It takes a tough cat to admit his mistakes, nip or non, sames as real men can wear pink.
    At least that's what the Dad says
    Timmy

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  35. You are a smart, handsome mancat Nissy and we are very impressed with your wise words, sweetie...Congratulations on your Canadian Blog Award=we are impressed with that too!...Happy week ahead, dear friend...xoxo...Calle, Halle, Sukki, Mommy Cat, Daddy Cat

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  36. Hey Nissy, a big congratulations to you on your wins in the Canadian Blog Awards, that is very cool!

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  37. That was excellently and very appropriately written! Great job, Nissy. And congrats on your awards, we are so happy for you!

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  38. You're right, Nissy. Apologizing should be done when necessary, but not for nothing. Congrats on your big win!!! - Crepes.

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  39. Faraday: FURRY, furry wise. We agree completely. Although Maxwell apologizes for EVERYTHING.
    Allie: His apologies are mainly for something YOU said, though, Brat.

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  40. Congrats on winning best Funny Canadian Blog and the others too!
    So glad we took the time to vote
    and vote often
    Purrs to our pal!
    Timmy and Furmaly

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  41. The thing that really gets The Staff's goat (i didn't know she had a goat, but heyho!) is when people say "I am sorry you feel that way!" Grrrrrrrrrr! Makes her blood boil even more! But she is a lady of a certain age (whatever that means? And that gets her goat too. I reckon her goat's got a lot to answer for!)

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