Wednesday, 27 March 2013

stealth mode

The other day, it snowed.  I couldn't believe it.  It's spring, now, and in the spring...  there shouldn't be any snow!  No, there should be soft breezes and warm sun puddles and daffodils and the like.  There should NOT be snow.  I don't know what's goin' on with this weather thing but I think I'm gonna have to do somethin' about it.

But when it snowed the other day, I decided to make the most of it.  You know, make some lemonade out of those lemons.  I didn't want to play in the snow or anything like that 'cause I was kind of annoyed it was there, in the first place.  I didn't want the snow to feel like it was welcome...  'cause it wasn't.  It wasn't welcome at all.  But I figured there wasn't much I could do to get rid of it although I am workin' on plans for a highly technologically advanced getting-rid-of-unwanted-snow apparatus.  I suspect that my GROUSA invention will make me famous, some day.  Don't tell anyone though.  It's kind of a secret.  Haven't got my patents, yet.

Anywho...  back to makin' the most of the snow.  There was just enough snow on the ground to make some tracks and as luck would have it, some cat had done exactly that.  I figured this was the perfect opportunity for me to hone my tracking skills.  They might very well come in handy now that I'm an official FBI agent.  That's right...  I have been accepted into the Feline Bureau of Investigation.  I have my own badge and everything.

I'm still learning all the ins and outs of the FBI.  I believe I am what is called a "newbie."  But the Feline Bureau of Investigation is better than that Federal one, I should think.  We have no borders.  We're an international organization.  We're completely autonomous and just a little indifferent...  'cause we're cats.  We answer to no man... or woman or child.  'Cause after all, we're cats!  But I digress...

Like I said, I had discovered some tracks.  And I took a good look at those newly discovered tracks in the newly fallen snow and said to myself, "Hmmm...  a cat has been here."  I sniffed the tracks for a moment but didn't smell anything out of place.  Obviously, they were not the tracks of my nemesis, Nosey Neighbour Cat.  I am sure I would have smelled his tracks from a mile away, never mind a mere few inches.  No, these tracks must have been made by a cat with whom I am close.  Someone who has full access to my house and garden and is actually welcome there.  Someone in my immediate fur-family. 

To hone my sleuthing skills, I knew I needed to find out exactly where the tracks led.  That's what tracking is all about, you see.  It's kind of the basic principle.  I decided to do my tracking in stealth mode.

Instead of following alongside the tracks, I decided to walk in them.  That way, there would only ever be one set of tracks, visible to the naked eye.  An outsider might come along but all he or she would see would be the one set of tracks.  They would never know that I had been there, tracking those tracks.  They would never know that I had been there at all.  Like I said, I was in stealth mode.

So, step by step and paw by paw, I tracked those tracks, always stepping inside an already made paw print.  I was so careful.  So very, very careful.  In fact, I was quite amazed at how well I did it.  I was also surprised at how easy it was.  My paws fit perfectly in the paw prints and the spacing of those prints matched my stride exceptionally well.  I immediately deduced that the tracks had not been made by my sister, Tobias, nor my sister Tess.  They are both quite small cats and therefore have a smaller stride than I.  Gosh, I was getting good at this sleuthing work, I surmised.

The tracks took me to the far end of the garage, where they veered left.  I veered left as well, still hot on the trail of the cat who made those tracks.  At the front end of the garage, the tracks veered left again.  I wondered if I would discover whomever I was following when I turned that next corner but no such luck.  He or she was nowhere to be seen.  Just more tracks.  I continued to track the tracks and turned left, once more, at the next corner.  I must admit, I was a little surprised by what happened next.  The tracks led me to exactly where I had begun. 

That's when ol' peepers walked past and she asked, "Nissy, why do you keep walking in circles around the garage?  Are you doing laps or something?"

And that's when I realised just how good I was at this sleuthing business.  I had been tracking myself, all along, and hadn't even known it.  Clearly, this had something to do with my stealth mode capabilities.  Clearly, I was even stealthier than I had known.  Perhaps I was the stealthiest cat ever.  Or...  perhaps...  I had just forgotten that those were my tracks.  I should get myself a little notebook to record such things, I think.  Yup.  I bet investigators use notebooks all the time.  I'll get ol' peepers to buy me one next time she's out shopping.  Or maybe I can order one on-line.

36 comments:

  1. Gosh Niss -- you is a mancat of many talents. I'm gonna join the FBI as soon as my mom is finished making me stoopid bunny-face avi's. I no want my FBI photo to look like a bunneh...not that I haz anyfing against bunnehs...its just that I think I look better in my own fur, ya know?

    By the way -- my mom got pawprinted yesterday! And guess what? The detective sez she hardly haz any prints on her paws. He sez he knew some bad guyz who would be really really interested in having mom work for them! OMC! I guess she needs to blog about dis amazing deformity!

    Okay! Gotta go mews my mom into finishing her book about me! See ya, Niss! And ask your pals to stop by my blog www.wonderpurr.com Yay!

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  2. PS -- Niss -- My wedding to Belle @Frankencat1 is for June 22nd. As my Best Mancat you need to write a toast. So I giving you a heads up. Nuffing long...maybe a couple tweets in length. No pressure.

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  3. Oh, order on line. Always more fun. And add a few toys?

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  4. We wanna know if we get any special privileges because we know someone in the FBI... If you ever need any assistants, we're your guys.

    Have a great day.

    hugs, Bugsy and Knuckles

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  5. dood...

    noe...DOOD !!!!!!

    we haz just seen with R veree own eyes ewe bee nominated for de best blog writin kitteh contest stuff :)

    this bee way awesum sew we wanna say conga rats bee fore we say grate trackin werk on trackin de traks oh de trak leevin kitteh

    sew; CONGA RATZ

    and grate trackin werk on trackin de traks oh de trak leevin kitteh

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  6. MOL, well, at least you know you can track yourself!

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  7. We want to know how to get one of those badges! :-)

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  8. I think that does make you a super sleuth!!!

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  9. Good job Nissy - you are a good FBI agent. No one is going to ever pull anything over on you.

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  10. Wow, you are really good at investigating! :)

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  11. I bet you're gonna be promoted quickly at the FBI!
    Purrs

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  12. Nissy, We think you should get one of those cameras you can hang around your neck, that way you can keep your paws free for the actual tracking. Purrs and hugs from the kitties at The Cat on My Head, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Josette

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  13. Buddy? We've been pondering what your prize should be, and now we knows: Brain Cells! Yep, a nice fresh supply. Not exactly sure where to find extras....prolly not at Mr. Puddy's, or Brian's, or Mario's.....huh. I know! SPARKLE! She's the smartest kitty I ever met! I'm sure SHE will have some extras laying around.

    Watch your mail!

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  14. Nissy have you ever heard of the expression "going round in circles." You would make a great navigator on a car journey. MOL

    Hugs and Purrs X

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    1. That anything like chasin' one's tail? purrs

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  15. nissy, how did you get that badge? i'm pretty sure you'll get promoted in no time. =)

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  16. We think you probably need an ICat to keep your records. We won't want to go dizzy going round and round and round....

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  17. good sleuthing skills there Nissy,xx Speedy

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  18. Concatulations Nissy! Welcome to the Bureau (as we long-time agents say). It's been a while since my big case with Kozmo and the evil Mr. Chirpy the Chicken but it was quite an adventure I can tell you. I'm sure when the Bureau calls on you, you'll be reasy - with notebook in hand!!

    Kitty Hugs, Sam

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  19. You're way too cool, nissy! =)

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  20. Wow I think that is very impressive! good stealthing!

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  21. I feel your pain -we've had late snow here. Where is this "spring" that they speak of?

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  22. Haha, oh I didn't see that coming :-) You are great FBI agent!

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  23. Hey Nissy!! Give me some HIGH PAW SLAPS...((whappity, whap whap)) I am an FBI sleuth as well! Yup, and I have been on one caper...pawsome..Agent Koz is great to work with. I think it was very clever of you to practice your stealth mode using your own paw tracks...I am sure the peep didn't even know what you were doing...probably thought you were just bein' silly...heh...heh

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  24. Excellent first investigation Nerissa...the officers in charge should be proud

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  25. Nerrisa!~ That was excellent! Not only did yous pass the fist test, but me is sure that if yous asks, yous will get access to the JET to flies around!
    Kisses
    Nellie

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    Replies
    1. Dear Agent 00.25
      Don't listen to Spitty! The FBI is a very open organization! You can even create your own FBI adventures without even telling Me! But if you want an official badge and number, all you have to do is email me at penelope dot catfromhell at gmail dot com with a good picture and I will get your official FBI card made. I think I shall have to sic Queen Penelope on Spitty...
      Kozmo (agent 00.5)

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  26. Hey Nerissa, Are you out practicing your FBI skills today? You know, you better hope Kozmo does not see this post, my friend.

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  27. I think that's very clever of you to be able to track yourself. I know some kitties (not to mention HUMANS) who don't know where they are half the time (mol).
    I didn't know there was such a thing as a Feline Bureau of Investigation but now that, thanks to you, I have learned about it, I want to join it when I grow up.
    Have a lovely weekend, Nissy.

    Trixie the Black Panfur

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  28. Thank you for your kind words on the passing of our dear boy Eric. The messages of condolence from so many are helping us a lot.

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  29. Oh sure, Kozmo SAYS he won't boot you out, but really, you just never know. You better watch out, Nerissa. He's ALWAYS watching!

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  30. Hey, Nerissa et al. Hoppy Easter! Hope you kids have a great day with NO MORE SNOW! Hope the Bun leaves you some Catnip Eggs!

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  31. I think you're a good FBI agent, Nerissa, at least you find the beginning of your own track again by running round in circles... ;)
    Happy Easter to all of you!

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  32. of course we boyz are just impressed that you get to go outside and make tracks in the first place. (Wait, we retract that statement. Mommy offered up the snow stuff to us the other day, and it was an Outdoor FAIL!)

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