Wednesday, 12 December 2012

I could take him

I could take him.  I know I could.  If I wanted to...  that is.  He's just a little dog.  Bet he's smaller than me.  Plus, he doesn't have sharp claws...

could take him but I won't.  Santa is coming in less than two weeks and I'm doin' my very best to be on my very best behaviour and whatnot.   Don't wanna miss out on any prezzies or anything.  But...  I bet I could convince my brother Seville to take him on.  Seville is always up for a challenge.

Besides, it's not like he doesn't deserve it or anything.  The dog, I mean.  The little dog.  He doesn't know it but I saw what he did.  I just happened to be lookin' out the window when he did it.  Nothing escapes my watchful eyes.

I was sitting on the kitty condo in the family room, waitin' for the crow show to begin.  There was movement over in the cutting garden which caught my eye.  That's not the stage for the crow show so I wasn't expectin' any movement from over there.  I narrowed my eyes and peered closer into the garden.  And just what did my prying eyes see?  They saw the new neighbours' dog in my garden.  Well, the peep thinks it's her garden but what is hers is mine so...  it's mine.

Yes, there he was.  There was the little dog.  Or he might be a she.  I don't actually know.  To be honest, I don't think I really care.  He has been in my garden before.  The peep saw him once.  She told me all about it.  And who knows how many times he has been in there when we haven't seen him.

Hmmm...  I thought.  Just what is that little yapper-snapper, whipper-snipper, whack-a-doodley-doo doin' in my garden?  My jaw dropped in amazement when I realized.  Not the good kind of amazement like I was amazed he could do what he was doing 'cause I already knew dogs can do what he was doing.  It was the bad kind of amazement 'cause I was just amazed that he would do such a thing in my garden.  He was liftin' a leg and peeing!  Yes...  he was peeing...  in MY garden.  Did I mention that?  On one of the rose bushes, I do believe.

Well, of all the nerve!  I don't go over to his garden to pee.  I use a litter box.  Boy-oh-boy...   MOUSES!

Then I thought to myself, this shouldn't really surprise me.  Nope, not one bit.  The dog just takes after his peeps. 

One day a few months back, when the weather was warmer, my peep #2 was upstairs in the bathroom and just happened to look out the bathroom window.  What did the peep see?  The peep saw a grown man comin' out the side door, step a few feet away from said door and let all loose.  That's right...  he peed...  outside...  MOUSES!  The very next day, my peep #1 pulled into the driveway and she saw the very same thing.  What is it with these neighbours?  Do they not have litter boxes?

And this neighbour peep didn't seem to care who saw him doin' what he was doing 'cause he was doin' it in full view of not only my peeps but the street, as well.  Anyone could have seen him.  Maybe they did.  Maybe he likes people seein' him.  Hmmm...  I wonder if the two RCMP officers livin' nearby have heard 'bout this.  I'm thinkin' grown peeps are not supposed to pee in public.  I'm just thinkin' they're not.  Dogs on the other hand...

Dogs pee in public all the time but I sure do wish that this particular one would do it in his own garden and not mine.  I suppose it's not indecent exposure when the dog does it but...  littering?  Could be.  I'll have to have a think on that one.  Maybe I'll ask one of those RCMP officers.  The one who is practically my neighbour.  She and I are pals, you know.

In the meantime, I'm gonna suggest to my brother Seville that he might wanna explain a thing or two to that neighbour dog.  Yeah...  explain...  a thing or two...  with a paw or two...  a couple of paws filled with claws...  sharp claws.  Don't worry, I'll put in a good word for Seville with Santa.  I'll explain to Santa how Seville was just defending our property and whatnot from you-know-what.  Santa will understand.  He'll probably know I put my brother up to it, anyway.  The big guy in red seems to know everything.  MOUSES!

27 comments:

  1. Goodness, the peep needs to call the Police about that man peeing just anywhere. That is terrible. Naughty man. As for the dog, he needs to leave too. Take care.

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  2. Wow... hoomins are.... strange. Though we've never heard of one who peed in public.

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  3. Some people's kids, eh? And some people's kids' dogs! Indecent exposure all over the place!

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  4. Wow, that is not usual behavior for peeps. Thankfully, we have not seen that here!

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  5. Where do you live ?
    That's terrible.

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  6. I have the same problem with the dog next door to us. Whats worse is when the leaves have covered the yard and you don't see that you're not supposed to step somewhere >: YUCK!

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  7. Something is not quite right with that man. If you haven't already mentioned it to your RCMP friend, I'd do it right away. The lady told me to tell you that someone who "exposes" himself that way might also be doing other things.

    And, I'll be that weird man told the dog to pee in your garden. Maybe he thinks you want to look at his little dog wienie.

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  8. dood....de dood N hiz dawg gotta go....N we dont meen like...go....we meen go a way....

    its bad enuff ya gotta watch a crow show

    but pee inn pupps N pee in peepz iz off de charts....ewe got that rite.... call de rcmp bee for everee onez pee in yur garden ...

    also; this frum EHOW's website

    Mix four jalapeno peppers in a blender with two cups of water. Take the solution and pour into a spray bottle. Spray plants that the dog enjoys urinating on. Dogs are sensitive to the smell of peppers and will avoid the area. Reapply if it rains. The solution will not harm plants.

    Read more: How to Stop Dogs From Urinating on Plants | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_5896153_stop-dogs-urinating-plants.html#ixzz2ErYFupHT

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  9. You have some weird neighbors!

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  10. That is awful its bad enough for the dog to do it but its not exceptable for the man to do it. Its realy bad that.. Hugs GJ xx

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  11. I agree, ya need to call the Pee-Patrol before something worse happens! Yuck-a-roo!

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  12. seriously, Nissy, where the ....do you live???? That biped behavior is the issue, not that silly dog who doesn't know any better and obviously, NO biped picks up his doo doo etc. Truth Nissy? My Mom would have yelled at the dude...'zip it buddy'...then called the constables or whatever...sending pat pats, Savannah

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  13. well...if he poops that might make excellent fertilizer :)

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  14. Sheesh...what's wrong with that human anyway???

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  15. OMC *shocked eyes* to read your blog Nerissa! Do your staff realise that the value of their house is effected by the exposed behaviour of your neighbour ... as for yappy dogs suggest sitting on his fence and teasing him is better than a fight

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  16. I think he comes to your house because he does not want to be in the way if his Peep comes outside to pee. Can you even IMAGINE???

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  17. We is sorry that doggie peed on your garden! You know what they say....pets take after their owners! MOL. Of course, this must mean you has some awesome humans cause yous is very awesome! :)

    Mommy says there is stuffs at the PetSmart and PetCo that you can spray around your garden to keep bunnies and woffies out of it. I think it is suppose to smell stinky to thems or something. We don't know much about it, though. If it is a safe thing to use for the garden and the animals, you might want to try that.

    Purrs,
    Carmine and Milita

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  18. Nerissa, that's disgusting, I hope you have reported it! Santa will be grateful to you ;)

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  19. Of all the nerve! You've got a family of pee-people next door. Gives a new slant to the word "peeps" doesn't it?! I can't imagine these people and their rude dog don't realize that they should be taking care of business in their OWN yard (dog) or indoors bathroom (humans) and not in public (or in your yard). I think it's time to mention it to your pal Nissy....yes indeedy I do! Meanwhile, you stay on Santa's "NICE" list...I bet Seville can keep that rude doggy away!!!

    Holiday Hugs, Sammy

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  20. It always amazes my Mommie when she sees peeps out walking their little dogs. They think nothing of letting them stop on our yard and poop, then just walking off without picking it up or anything. Now these same people would be furious if we went and emptied our litterbox in their yard, but apparently their little doggie poop is golden....

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  21. I told Gracie what happened in your garden, and she said she would have helped you take down the doggie if she was there. We are so sorry you had to witness such a disgraceful event. But, we are also proud of you for realizing the doggie doesn't have any good role models apparently. So, he just doesn't know any better. Maybe Santa will bring him one.

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  22. I've never meeted a real dog in person. But it might be kinda fun if it was a real little dog and I could beat him up. Can I come over there?

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  23. Hey, Nerissa! I think your Human is neglecting your blogging needs, Buddy! Well, at least you've got that woofie and his Human pee-er to entertain you.

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  24. Oh. My. CAT. SERIOUSLIES?!?!? Mommy's jaw dropped when she read about that neighbor dog's human!

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  25. Wow, we thought our neighbourhood was strange when a tree snake decided he'd rather live in our house than the trees - or when some small children who used to live next door to us started poking me with sticks through the fence when I was in my catnip. But no, you definitely win the weird neighbourhood competition. And definitely tell your RCMP friends about the man who doesn't know where his litter box is.

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  26. Hey Nerissa, Jet here.

    As one of the species, K9, I must defend my fellow K9 by saying we have different elimination experiences than you felines. I do understand your upset about the garden... and a talk, rather than sharp claws might just do the trick. We know where we can empty the tank and where we cannot.

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