Wednesday, 19 December 2012

backwards agapanthus

The peep #1 has some plants in the sunroom.  They're a bit of a nuisance, really.  I mean...  the sunroom is full of sunpuddles and those plants seem to always be occupying the puddles of sun.  Sunpuddles are made for cats, I think...  not plants.  Those plants are intruding upon our territory.  But that is the making of another post for another day.

Anywho...  today's post is about the pot of agapanthus.  Don't know why the peep keeps it.  It has never bloomed.  Not once.  Not ever.  Not even a hint of a flower or a bud or anything.  And as of late, it has stopped growin' too.  Not only has it stopped growing, but the growing has kind of gone backwards or something.  Where there used to be lush foliage there are now just little stubs protruding from the soil.

When I initially discovered the backwards movement of the growth of the agapanthus, my first thought was, of course, TIME DISTORTIONS.  What else would I think?  As plants move forward in time, they grow.  So if their growth is backwards, they must be movin' backwards in time.  I don't believe plants have a reverse gear like a car or a truck so...  obviously...  we're talking 'bout time distortions.

I thought to myself...  who would know about such things?  Who...  who...  who?  With a click of the claws I had my answer.  The Doctor, that's who!  I tried phonin' him but there was a poor connection.  It got lost in space or something.

So it was up to me.  It was up to me, Nerissa the cat, to discover the source of the time distortions.

Immediately, I thought of my peep and her caterwauling.  She had been practising a lot for those two caterwauling concerts of hers and as the sound waves from her caterwauling moved through the time-space continuum, who knows what damage they could have caused.  They could have warped the very fabric of space for light years all around us.  Plus, everyone knows that plants and worms co-exist.  What about plants and worm holes?  Just what would happen if the caterwauling sound waves interacted with the holes left by worms?  MOUSES!  The very thought sent shivers down my spine.  And that's a lot of shivers 'cause we cats have a lot of spine 'cause...  you know...  we've got tails and all.

I knew I had to find the answer before the time-space continuum was damaged any further.  I put in a call to CBS thinkin' that that cat who disguises himself as Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory might be able to help.  He knows about space and time and whatnot, for sure.  He never got back to me.  Another call lost in space.  MOUSES!  You know...  I really need to check on my long distance service provider.

So my brother Seville and I got into the lower kitchen cabinets and found a few things we thought we could use.  There was an egg beater, a mixing bowl, a rolling pin and a couple of other things only the peep could recognize.  Actually, I'm not even sure that she could but we'll give her the benefit of the doubt since she bought 'em and all.  I figured we could maybe construct a time-space distortion meter-reader thingy.  If only I knew that guy named MacGyver.  He'd know how to make one for sure.  And he would probably need a whisker or two 'cause whiskers are so good at detectin' so I sent my sister Connie out on patrol.  I had her look on all the kitty condos and in all the cat beds for any stray whiskers that may have been left behind.

Anywho...  As Seville and I were dragging the egg beater into the sunroom, a beam of light appeared.  It shone through the window, illuminating the very spot where the pot of time distorted agapanthus sat.  The egg beater didn't even have a chance to start spinning and metering and doin' whatever meter-reader thingies do.  Seville and I immediately knew the source of the time distorting waves.  And believe it or not...  the peep was not involved...   this time.

There, in the pot of agapanthus, was our answer.  The shaft of light illuminated not only the backwards moving time distorted plants but also...  our brother Rushton.  Yes, there he was...  sound asleep...  curled up in the pot of agapanthus. 

Time came to screeching halt.  Then it started moving backwards in slow motion.  It was like the sunroom had been sucked into that shaft of light from the sun and drawn towards the heavenly body itself.  In the nick of time we escaped the pull of the gravity well - the well that surely was causin' all those puddles of sun - and came hurtling back towards earth.  I began to recall the many times I had seen my brother Rushton sleeping in that pot...  in that pot of agapanthus...  my brother who must weigh close to twenty pounds.  He's a big boy is Rushton.  A big boy with a lot of fur.  He takes up a lot of room in the pot.  Not much room left for agapanthus, I do suspect.

So I had my answer.  Obviously, Rushton had managed to create his own little gravity well.  That gravity well must have distorted the time waves within the pot of agapanthus, preventing the plants from growing and then sending them backwards in time. 

The good news is that the tears in space appear to have been confined to the one pot of agapanthus.  Thank goodness for that!  I'm thinkin' that those tears can be repaired with just a spool of thread and a needle.  I'll check with the peep.  She usually has some thread handy.  Wonder if the task will require any buttons.  Hmmm...  I like buttons.  They're fun to play with if you attach them to some twine and empty wooden spools.  I'll get the peep workin' on that right away.  Don't want the tear in space to rip any further into any more of the sunroom.  Might distort some of our sunpuddles or something and we simply can't have that, can we?

32 comments:

  1. Nerissa, you and your pee should write book, Srsly.

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    1. The peep is workin' on hers. But do you know what? I'm not in it! MOUSES!!!

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  2. My goodness! Well I do think buttons are fun so when all else fails you can always play!

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  3. MOUSES indeed!! What a crazy day. Good thing you looking out for us all, or not sure where we would be. Also, don't forget about Captain Jack, he knows a thing or two about localized rifts in time and space. I'll sleep better tonight knowing you watching over us all.

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  4. Hey, Nerissa! You are this week's Hot ManCat over at Troublin Times! And I have to agree--you definitely have my vote!
    Dare this young kitty say Merowww?

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  5. Well turns out that plant is good for something and that is a good napping place. That is our favorite thing to do and that is to sleep in the flower pots. Have a great day.

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  6. ha ha - your brother is so cute in that pot! Mystery solved I guess.

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  7. Wow! That was some incredible thinking on your parts. Did your brains hurt afterwards so yous had to has a nap?
    Did yous choose the pot of agapanthus (after removing your brother)?
    Inquiring minds wants to knows!
    Kisses
    Nellie

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    1. Yes, after making our discovery, we all napped. It was necessary.

      The pot of agapanthus is currently under observation. We'll see...

      purrs

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  8. you're such a deep thinker Nerissa,me I just wanna have fun...hehehe don't for get to enter my christmas give away!xx Speedy

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  9. Whoa! You made my head hurt. I am not a scientific kitty!

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  10. dood....due ewe want uz ta hook ewe up with de klingons...yea, like frum star trek fame klingons ...coz they builded uz a force feeld over DE HOLE EN TIRE LAND O TROUT TOWNE, sew we ree mane a burd free zone 24/7/365 with onlee one time distortzshun.... on leep yeer....

    grate post by de way...we loved it :)

    pee ess..nice ta meet ewe seville N rushton :)

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    1. Oh, that would be great! And if those Klingons need any assistance at all - tho' I doubt they would - I might have a contact with the Ancients from Atlantis. They're good with force fields, too. purrs

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  11. Thank you for doing all this thinking for us! We would have never figured that out and our Mom would have been flummoxed for months! Purrs...

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  12. I think you could be my cat guru, Nerissa.

    Oh, by the way. When I read your Hot Mancat interview I was stunned to find out you were a mancat. I thought you were a girl! I know you get that all the time because of your name. Dude: You really need an "aka." Like, "Ned aka Nerissa" or "Knuckles aka Nerissa."
    This is doubly necessary because you are pretty. A pretty boy.

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    1. Yeah... I know.

      The peep keeps tryin' to convince me that I could start a trend where Nerissa becomes one of those unisex names that works either way. So far, I haven't met any other boys named Nerissa. MOUSES!

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  13. Nissy!! Hey, over here...well actually...turn toward the West and down a bit...then I am "over here"...can I just say that you are just about my most fave comic deep thinker...you surely must be keeping all these posts and have them almost bound for your first manuscript, right??? You are the most intellectual, deep thinking mancat in paw blogging...I can't wait for your next post to show up! Seriously, dude, you ARE a BOOK waiting to happen!...can I edit???? paw pats, Savannah

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    1. You know... I have been workin' on a little annual thing of just a few of my posts but it's the peep who fancies herself a writer. Don't know why... It's not like she has an award-winning blog or anything. That would be me, right? Do editors fix all the mistakes? I bet the peep has a whole whack of them.

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  14. Hey Nerissa, Jet here.

    My BFF, Savannah, recommended that I visit you right away. Gosh, may I say you are the Isaac Asimov of felines! Simply a brilliant post! If not Asimov, than H.G. Wells, Jules Verne or Ray Bradbury!!!

    Nice to make your acquaintance by the way. :)

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  15. Well, whew! At least you didn't have to call those people from Fringe Division. 'Cause you know how nutty Walter can be.

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  16. What a great story ... what a great imagination! Think you should get at least a Purrlitzer xxx's

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  17. Mowzers! Kitteh Physics! We needs to drag our daddy in here to read this! We're sure it'll help in in all his many computations at work!! Egg beaters - who knew!

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  18. Well you certainly figured out the problem with the backwards agapanthus Nerissa - which of course isn't surprising to me since I know you're a highly intelligent kind of guy. OF COURSE it's a space/time continuum issue. Sew up those tears immediately (or tell Rushton to pick a new nap spot - whichever is easiest!!). By the way, a friend of my peep's is an author named Anita Holmes who wrote a book ALLLLLL about those little "tears" in time called "Twidders".....your peep might enjoy reading it (Amazon).

    Holiday Huggies, Sammy

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  19. Hey Nerissa! You're a HOT mancat and a mystery solver too! :) Great job.

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  20. This post is hilarious! I hate TW's plants except the nip plant that she bought me today. The windowsill is for me, not those plants.

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  21. Concatulations on the brilliant and scientific investigative work. We knew you could solve the mystery! Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrs.

    Mommy has hardly any plants inside because we tend to chew on them. She sprouts special grass for us and we still (emphasis hers) chew on what she describes as her plants (aren't they all our plants?) But she did have some outside plants that mysteriously grew backwards like your aga-something and it turns out an outside cat was sleeping on them.

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  22. Nice job on the mystery, Nissy!!!
    This was FUN!
    xo, Katie, Glogirly & Waffles TOO

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  23. Hi Nerissa--I see you were a Hot Mancat this week. Concats, Buddy!

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  24. a room with sun puddles sounds lovely. So hello dears. It has been delightful visiting you throughout this year. Thank you for your visits and for the time you took to leave us comments here too. We look forward very much to more time shared in 2013! and here is wishing it to be a peaceful, healthy and happy new year. Love Darcy, Bingley and Helen xxx

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  25. Hi Nerrisa There's still time to enter my give away but I need the photo's by 24th december 4pm UK time,I would really like if you cpuld enter my friend,xx Speedy

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  26. Oh you did make me smile with this

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  27. This was FUN!
    Purrfect job on the mystery , Nissy !

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