Sunday, 15 July 2012

it was already dead... honest!

It wasn't me!  I don't know where it came from!!  I don't know how it got here!!!  And besides...  it was already dead.  Honest!

Okay...  I kind of do know where it came from.  It came from where all mice come...  outside in the garden.  I mean, where else would it come from?  I'm not running some kind of mouse factory in the basement.  I didn't order it on-line.  And you peeps know darned well how I hate riding in the car so I sure as mouses didn't drive over to the mall and buy the mouse.  Clearly, the mouse came from the great outdoors.

And I guess I kind of do know how the mouse came to be inside our house, lying there in the middle of the kitchen floor.  Obviously, someone brought it inside.  No self respecting mouse has ever entered my house voluntarily.  I mean, I live with eleven other cats.  Plus, nosey neighbour cat visits on almost a daily basis.  You have to admit, he's a suspicious looking character if ever there was one.  And then there's the cat who came back.  Remember Carson?  So, that means I am only one for fourteen suspects.  And none of us are talking!

Wait a minute!  I'm one of sixteen suspects because there are a couple of peeps living in my house, as well.  Either one of them might have caught that mouse and brought it inside.  It would be just like a peep to do something like that and then blame one of us cats.  Just like a peep, indeed.  In fact, typical peep!  True to form, typical peep.  Mouses I've gotta get myself some new peeps, I think.

Peep #1...  when you came into the kitchen the other morning and saw me sniffing that ol' dead mouse lying there on the floor, all you saw me doing was sniffing.  You absolutely did not see me catching the mouse, killing the mouse, playing with the mouse or carrying the mouse around in my mouth.  You didn't see any of that stuff 'cause I didn't do any of that stuff.  It's all what they call circumstantial evidence.  Don't you pay attention to the television when Law & Order is on?  You need more than just the circumstantial kind of evidence, I think.  You need what they call the smoking gun.  Well, old peep of mine...  you don't have that smoking gun.  No smoke rising from my claws.  No sirree...  not a trace of smoke coming from my claws.  Probably...  most likely...  'CAUSE I DIDN'T DO IT!

And let me tell you something else.  When I came across the mouse that morning, lying there in the middle of the kitchen floor, it was already dead.  Didn't I mention that before?  Yes, I believe I did.  I didn't kill the mouse.  Someone else killed the mouse.  IT WASN'T ME!  HONEST!!!

And peep #1 o' mine...  had you really wanted to find the guilty culprit, you should have looked for the evidence right there and then.  I didn't see you doing any DNA tests on that mouse.  The mouse was probably covered in the saliva of the killer.  Did you check for saliva?  No, of course not.  Let's face it, Jessica Fletcher you are not!

There could have been cat hair on that mouse and that cat hair might have led you to the killer.  But I can tell you this...  if there were any cat hairs, they weren't sterling silver tabby ones like mine.   'Cause when I came across the mouse, IT WAS ALREADY DEAD!  Didn't I mention that before?

For all I know, there might have been a long, 'medium golden brown' hair wrapped around that dead mouse.  That is the name of the colour on the box of stuff you use to cover up all that grey, right?  I see no reason - no reason at all - why you, peep #1, should be eliminated from the list of suspects.

Whoever did it, isn't talking.  That part is clear.  But I do know this.  It wasn't me and...  it was already dead!  HONEST!!!

42 comments:

  1. *I* believe you. *I* feel fairly certain it was NOT you, Nerissa.

    ReplyDelete
  2. We think it's unfair to accuse you, Nerissa. (But if you did do it, we're very proud of you! :) )

    ReplyDelete
  3. I believe you too pal - it could never be you, I'm positive it was one of your peeps that planted the evidence in the house!! They are so sneaky sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tell me about it! It's like 'sneaky' is their middle names.

      Delete
  4. We know you aren't guilty but goon on one of you for killing that naughty mouse for coming in the house. Mice need to be outside, dead or alive. Loved reading all this. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Nerissa,
    You sound so defensive. Are you hiding something brofur? I say, let's call Horatio and his CSI team to come. har har har *evil laughs*

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
  6. We know it couldn't possible be you - is someone trying to put the blame on you? We bet it was Not Me - he's usually guilty!
    Luv Hannah andf Lucy xx xx

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi my name's Casey and I'm Smokey Cat's brofur. I really like your blog (Smokey does too. She would've pawed this out but she's hanging out in the tomato garden.)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm sure it wouldn't be you Nerissa, you are the 'purr'fect cat.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I think someone doth protest too much lol.
    But whoever did it should receive a reward of somekind, maybe tuna could entice you to talk.

    Love your blog, one of my favorites! I always look forward to your new posts.

    http://fromthebootheelcottonpatch.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww... thanks for all your kind words.
      Do you think the Baird had a cat? Probably... 'cause he was super smart. The smartest peeps like cats.

      Delete
  10. I'm pretty sure it was the Dead Mouse Fairy who left that.

    ReplyDelete
  11. We all believe you, so that is just how it is fur sure!

    ReplyDelete
  12. of coause you didn't do it Nerissa,if you did you would put your paw up and say ok you've got me,no self respecting cat would lie about it

    ReplyDelete
  13. C;early the mouse was insane, and had an unfortunate (and fatal) cardiac event.

    ReplyDelete
  14. If you ever want to catch some guilt-free mice, you're welcome to visit me!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Has Nerissa been watching CSI again?

    ReplyDelete
  16. No jury in the world would convict you. The case would be tossed!!
    On the other paw, bet is smelled good!!! heehee
    Purrs Tillie and Georgia,
    Tiger,Treasure,JJ and Julie

    ReplyDelete
  17. I believe you, you couldn't have done it, your innocent

    ReplyDelete
  18. We believe ya. My cats say to blame on the doggie

    ReplyDelete
  19. I wish I knew who the culprit was... so I could CONGRATULATE them on a good catch!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Nerissa, was that mouse dead? You didn't make yourself clear!!! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ummm... yeah... it was. Did I not mention that? purrs

      Delete
  21. We believe you! There was a dead mouse on the carpet 2 nights ago and I told mum it wasn't me, but then she showed me the photos she took of me nomming on it. Now that is sneaky!
    Eric

    ReplyDelete
  22. You are all totally innocent!! Mousie expired all by itself!!! :-) Ahem! Take care
    x

    ReplyDelete
  23. It's a Cat's Code of Honor not to tell!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Mama is still laughing. But she does appreciate the fact that you know your law! Your peeps should be proud of you, and not let you take the blame for SOMETHING YOU DID NOT DO.

    ReplyDelete
  25. What!?! Praise and treats was not heaped on yous for killing evil mices in the house?!?! When we catches them inside or outside) we is given treats!!! Especailly in the fall when they is looking for someplace to stay. Last winter, Kozmo got extra sprecial treats for killing the miuses that was living in our (unheated) garage! Roasted Chicken Livers for the dead bodies!
    Kisses
    Nellie

    ReplyDelete
  26. Henry says the mouse probably died of shame because........well, because something.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Just ask them this. Would they rather deal with a dead mousie, or would they like to find it running and pooping all through the silverware? We know what our mom would like and we are happy to oblige her! Its a win-win situation.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Wait, you DON'T order mouses online? We thought evrycat did! Ooh, um, if that's not customary, we were just "talkin". Not that we would have to BUY mouses ourselfs, of course. Just speculatin out loud...

    Lets try this again... Sure, mousies crawl in here alla time an just fall over dead in the middle of the kitchen floor. Yeah, THAT's it... Not our fault AT ALL!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Uh, doesn't there have to be an actual, you know, crime committed before the Humans get themselves in some giant kerfuffle and run around ACCUSING innocent felines of all sorts of imagined offenses?

    I fail to even see a crime here at all! Who's to say that mousie did not die of old age, surrounded by its family and close personal friends? Or that it mightn't have had a mousie heart attack from eating too much butter and red meat? Or a stroke following a 2-pack-a-day Winston habit?

    Huh? HUH??? How about THAT, Peep #1???

    ReplyDelete
  30. Gee Nerissa,
    Humans are always looking for something to blame a cat for! It's like my place, when one of the budgies suddenly loses a tail feather and it's found hanging out of my mouth. I found it on the floor and was taking it to show one of the humans show them that the budgie had lost a tail feather. They treated me like some sort of criminal.
    Humans just always jump to conclusions. They don't believe in due process.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I'm sure it's not your fault. The mouse probably died of shame...I think...
    Hugs from Pernille.
    P.S. Soon comes part tree in the cat-trap, and it's not a new brother and sister for me. We are trying to help a cat, named Tiger. He's aroun our house, and can't find his way home again. We have found the owner, and as soon he goes into the trap, he will be back home again.
    We are crossing our fingers xxx

    ReplyDelete
  32. Peep #1 has gotten quite the nerve accusing you - so many could be guilty. no reason to picks on you

    ReplyDelete
  33. No doubt in MY mind you're innocent Nerissa - and since the forensics team was not present at the time the body was discovered to take "presentable" evidence - I'd say NOBODY in your house can be prosecuted for this crime! Besides - there's always natural causes....maybe the mousie came in and SAW one of you kitties and had a heart attack right there on the kitchen floor! It happens! Just give it a decent burial and move on...that's what I say! :D :D :D

    Kitty hugs, Sammy

    ReplyDelete
  34. It's a mystery mouse!

    I'm pretty sure my Miaolings get mouses from craigslist. Or maybe freecycle.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Ok Nerissa..ya gotta be bold, hold your ground, put your paw down firmly...look the peeps in their eyes...and glare...put them to shame...they did not take any samples of hair, fibre, blood, nail clippings, saliva...nuttin'...they can't prove diddly squat...(whispers behind paw...what did it taste like? Chicken? or Bacon? Just wonderin' 'cuz I don't go out...)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Honest... it wasn't me. Although... I have had mouse before... It's a secret, okay?

      Delete
  36. I came here today expecting the Peep to have posted a public apology and what do I see?? Nuffing! How dare she allow these false charges to stand?

    Uh, aren't there like 12 of you? Surely you could gang up on her, eh?

    ReplyDelete
  37. BWAAA-HA-HAAAA "cover up all that grey" - oh GOOD one. That's telling the peep, that is!

    ReplyDelete

I love hearin' from my pals. I absolutely LOVE it! Just saying...