Sunday 10 June 2012

she doesn't do pills

My sister Constance doesn't do pills.  She just doesn't.  Not ever.

Oh sure...  the peep might get one in when Connie is totally unsuspecting.  Like, if my peep were to hide a pill in the palm of her hand and speak all innocent to her.  Say things like, "Oh hi there, Constance" or "Whatcha looking at out that window there, Connie?"  Then, when the peep got close enough, she could grab my sister and pop that pill right down her throat.  If she did all that, she might get a pill in.  A pill...  as in singular...  as in one.

It is possible she might even manage a second one if she can catch her.  You see, after all the trickery and deceit of the first pilling episode, it's not likely Connie is gonna fall for that again.  But if the peep were to sneak up on her while she was sleeping or something, she might stand a chance.  Might...  as in maybe...  as in once in a blue moon that happens to coincide with a full lunar eclipse.  You see, my sister Connie has ESP.  That stands for the skill called Evading Sneaking Peeps.  It's a real skill and my sister has it in spades.

My sister Constance can hide under peep #2's big old writing desk.  No one has ever figured out how she does this.  There's just this teeny-tiny opening at the bottom but Connie manages to wriggle & squiggle her way underneath.  She's not a small girl but the peep says she must be very malleable, or something like that.  I say, she must be magic!  Point is, once Connie gets herself under that desk, she's not coming out from there until she's good and ready.  And usually, she's not good and ready until all danger of any pills are past.

We once had a doctor who couldn't - or wouldn't - believe Connie had ESP.  You should have seen the looks she gave my peeps when they told her Constance wouldn't take pills.  They got the looks, the raised eyebrows, the whole works.  I know, 'cause peep #1 told me all about it.  This doctor just simply would not believe that a cat couldn't be pilled.  Obviously, this doctor didn't know my sister Constance.

The doctor we have now has a totally different attitude.  When the peeps told her about Connie's ESP, she simply said, "Good to know."  Now that's a good attitude, don't you think?  There were no raised eyebrows, no rolling of the eyes into the back of the doctor's skull, or anything like that.  I really like this doctor a lot...  well...  as much as a cat can like a doctor...  if you know what I mean.

Now when Connie has to take pills, the peep plans ahead.

If it's a one-shot deal, like a deworming pill, the peep might try to sneak it into her food.  It has to be Fancy Feast - straight up - in order for this to work.  But to be honest, Connie is really too smart to fall for that...  you know...  with her ESP and all.  The peep has tried more than once and Connie is way ahead on that score.  The peep is better off with her trickery and deceit ploys for the deworming pills.  Of course, if Constance happens to be at her annual check-up or something, the peep with get the doctor to do the pill.  For some strange reason, Connie takes them for her.  Don't know why.  Probably that long plastic pill giver thingy the doctor has.  Or maybe it's the immobilising fear instilled upon Connie simply for being in the doctor's office...

If Constance ever needs multiple pills like antibiotics or something, they go the needle route now.  One shot and she's good for ten days.  Way easier than trying to get ten pills down her throat.  Did I mention that Connie does not take pills?

You know, the peeps take pills every day.  Yup.  They call them vitamins or something silly like that.  I call them pills...  which is what they are.  No need to sugar-coat this stuff.  And the weirdest part is that the peeps take these pills willingly.  Crazy, crazy stuff...  They just pop 'em in their mouths and swig 'em down with some juice or something.  Nuts, I tell you!  Never seen anything like it.  But then, peeps are a little nuts, aren't they?  Yup... crazy like a squirrel making nut pies.  Oh yeah...  and I've seen the peep do that, too.  She calls it Pecan Pie.  I call it nuts!  But I'm willing to take a little of the whipped cream off her hands for her, if you know what I mean.  Least I can do for my crazy peep, I think.  Yup, the least I can do.

35 comments:

  1. I'm kinda liking your sister :) I once had a vet who didn't believe me when I said my cat was opposed to taking pills. he was so cocky, that it took every ounce of strength to not laugh when Tig bit him hard enough to draw blood.

    Have you tried pill pockets? Sometimes finding something ultra yummy to distract the kitty from what was just done helps too.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My mama loves pecan pie. Go figure. Now a little chicken pot pie....wonderful. Do you think I get any? No. But then, mama doesn't get pecan pie cept once every couple years.
    Dare I say something like "does your doctor have a spare pill giver"? Maybe that would work. My mom takes a handful of pills twice a day. Yuck! Peeps are plain dumb!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love reading your cat stories. This peep isn't too happy about taking pills either, but if you must, you must.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think blogger ated my comment. Dumb blogger.
    Ask your doctor if there is a spare pill giver just sitting around the office. Might work for your sister.
    My mama takes a handful of pills every day. Twice a day.
    Peeps are dumb.

    ReplyDelete
  5. We cats were never meant to take pills. But for some reason we have to sometimes. Ă„iti usually finds half the pills she tries to get us to take scattered all over the floor minutes later. We need to work on the ESP! Go Connie :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. HaHaMeow! It's good to find like-minded felines. I (Prancer Pie) have to go the shot method, too. The yakking that ensues after taking ANY pill is just not worth it. Smart peeps and smart Dr!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh my dear, if only you had known Admiral, the one who came before. She flew away to the Bridge in mid December but she had to have a pill a day. It was imperative that she have that pill and she too could not be pilled. The chronicles of whether or not mom tricked her on any given day were there on Twitter for all to see. She had lits of encouragement from all of her furriends. Great huzzahs went up to the heavens when it was repurrted that once again, Admiral had gotten a pill into her. Mom used Greenies Pill Pockets. She had to change flavors and make sure they were fresh or Admiral refused.

    Her blog was filled (is filled still) with the horrible adventures of trying to get her meds into her.

    xoxoxox

    ReplyDelete
  8. My human is able to pill ALL of us - she has always been like that with all the cats she has lived with. And even though we don't like it, we get over it right away when she does it. Anyone else - nuh-uh! But even though she CAN do it, she doesn't like it because she knows we hate it. So as much as possible, she gets us shots or sneaks pills, crushed up, in our food when we need them. Which luckily, isn't too often. Binga needs to get a syringe of lactulose every day for constipation but believe it or not, she thinks it is a treat!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Maybe your peeps could take Connie in the bathroom and pill her ;) Mind,that only works if she does not immediately yak it back up!! heehee We go not like pills much :/
    Mom is a nut who likes nuts and pecan pie!!! sheesh!!!!!

    Purrs Tillie and Georgia,
    Tiger,Treasure and JJ

    ReplyDelete
  10. Our Mom sometimes can give some of us pills but there are some that will not allow her to give us pills, so we understand you Connie. Those darn things are no fun. Hope all of you have a super Sunday.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Mommy used to think liquid medicine was easier until we showed her what we thought of it. We foamed and foamed and foamed then flung the foam all over Mommy, the floor, the table, everything!
    She now goes the pill way and lucky for her (and sadly for us), she's yet to meet a Constance.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Our Mommy has mad pilling skillz but she agrees you can't pill a cat you can't catch! Two of us get daily pills so Mommy is NOT afraid of being savaged...much.
    heh heh.

    ReplyDelete
  13. My humans have trouble with me too when have my wormer they have to wipe it on my front paws then I lick it off but no way am I having that tube stuffed in my mouth

    ReplyDelete
  14. Lovely Connie!! You are one very clever amazing kitty! Me and Charlie are very grateful for the choice of needle shots rather than pills too! It's far less stressful than pilling for all concerned!

    Take care
    x

    ReplyDelete
  15. I don't do pills either.
    Mom has only had to try once and there is no way.
    Two humans could not pill a 6 pound cat.
    HA I proved it to them

    purrs
    >^,,^<
    ♥Abby♥Boo♥Ping♥Jinx♥Grace♥

    ReplyDelete
  16. Constance is like my Angel Bobo was. He had MAJOR kitty ESP when it came to pills.

    Cody? That's another story. He will willingly eat ANYTHING that is put in his mouth. I just have to literally snap my fingers, tap the top of his tower, he comes running for the pill. If that fails, he falls for the food trick EVERY TIME because he is completely food obsessed. I am lucky, yep, extremely lucky!

    ReplyDelete
  17. We dont get pills often, but when we do they are crushed an mixed with cream cheese. That almost tolerable...

    ReplyDelete
  18. Our mom has magical skills and can pill us even when we don't wanna be. We can't figure it out.

    ReplyDelete
  19. ha ha - I've heard of other cats too who don't take pills. I don't like it, but the peeps always manage to trap me and shove it down my gullet. Yes, that pill pusher thing works. M says your mom should get one of those things cuz they really work slick. You don't have to get the cat's mouth open so far either.

    ReplyDelete
  20. We have kitties with ESP here! One pill is all it takes. Oui Oui damaged her cornea a month ago and had to take antibiotics. The mom wasn't worried about getting the pills down, she can do that in 20 seconds. The problem is finding and luring the cat out. Good luck with THAT!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Bwaa! Haa! Haa! Me has been known to spit the pill out 5 minutes AFTER my peoples thought they gots it down my throat. Sometimes me foams! And others me just bomits! Mommy & Daddy has tried everything! Even the pill pockets did not work. They has tried crushing them and mixing them with food, or in a liquid and squirting it down my throat - Nope! No! Na Da! Me knows! Last time, the vet said she would show Mommy how to do it and yous knows what I did, I shredded her shirt! Constance YOUS ROCKS!
    Kisses
    Nellie

    ReplyDelete
  22. The Human has never hadded to give me medicines of any kind. I don't know what will happen if I need them one day. Probably worlds will collide and time will stop.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Pills? What pills? My Mama would laboriously grind a tablet or open up capsules, hide them in the wet food and voila! Medicine taken! So far, so good. purrr...meow!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Connie and Austin must’ve come from the same ESP school! He knows even before I do that he’s gonna have a pill!! Spooky!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Yup!! We agree wif most efuryone else,,,, da problem around here iz catching da "victum" ^..^ , dat'z when da esp seemz to kick in 'round here...... or when 2 who shall remained un-named ( shhhhhh..... Larry & Gabriel) haz to go V E T ,,,, dey become invizable! :O But once da mom catchez us, dat pill iz down owr throatz before we know what happened! We haz esp, but it seemz da mom haz it too! ^..^

    Purrz & Headbonkz ~ ♥♥xoxoxo♥♥

    You Rock Connie! ^.,^

    ReplyDelete
  26. That because your Mom is thinking about giving her the pill. Mom needs to practice concentrating on anything else, something pleasant, so that Connie won't get it. Believe me, we understand everything, but we don't call it ESP, we call it normal MOL!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Pills....ick....fortunately I only had to take a pill once (so far anyway) when I was little. Something about worms (also ICK)...I kept spitting it out but Mom smashed the pill up and hid it in my food and that was that. I can't blame Connie for trying to outsmart your Mom on the pill taking thing. I think I'd prefer a shot over that dry old yucky tasting pill!! My Mom takes a bunch of pills every day too. Humans are a strange lot.

    Kitty Hugs, Sammy

    ReplyDelete
  28. Hi Nerissa don't forget to enter Speedy's prize Draw!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anyone can enter,now I know your preference.good luck

      Delete
  29. Hiya Nerissa...you have a couple of awardds to pick up over on my Monday blog post if you would like. I hope you enjoy them. Paw pats my pal, Savannah

    ReplyDelete
  30. Well Constance, you are constant in your determination to avoid pill taking!! :)
    Tulip has to take pills twice daily and the only way this happens is thanks to Fancy Feast! LP grinds the pills into a tiny bit of Fancy Feast to ensure Tulip gets the medicine and then rewards her with a bit more Fancy Feast. NOTHING else works! Cats and pills. ARGH!!!

    the critters in The Cottage xo

    ReplyDelete
  31. You know what? I think Constance could enter that second picture into the Nipped Out event of the Cat Olympics coming up. Yep, I fink so!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm... she DOES kind of look all dreamy eyes and blissful, doesn't she? Just like when you've been on the nip! Thanks for the idea. I think I might just get the peep to enter her!!!

      Delete
  32. Well first...you're right, peeps are a little off in the head. PECAN pie? Seriously. NO protein whatsoever in that. *shakes head*

    And pills? Yup, Mommy does the needle with us when she can, otherwise it's a suspension with a squirt of liquid down the gullet. Least the liquid suspension is tuna oil....

    ReplyDelete
  33. It's going to be finish of mine day, however before ending I am reading this wonderful piece of writing to improve my knowledge.
    Also visit my website ; defensive driving

    ReplyDelete

I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.