Wednesday, 20 June 2012

...and you're out!

So peep #1 comes back from getting the mail Monday toting a parcel.  But I have to tell you, I'm not sure how I feel about this particular parcel.

Firstly, the parcel was NOT a box.  Boxes are good.  Almost all boxes are good.  Very rarely does one ever come across a box that isn't good.  Sure, it can happen but it doesn't happen very often.  Boxes are just made to be good, I think.  Yup...  just made good.  But as I said, this parcel was not a box.  Strike number one.

Secondly, on the front of the parcel, was a name...  and it wasn't Nerissa!  Could you believe it?  You'd think that with my having this blog and all, once in a while, someone might send a parcel to me!  But oh no...  this parcel - as usual - was for the peep.  Had her name on the front of it and everything.  Strike number two.
 
Thirdly, when the peep opened up her parcel...  her padded envelope - yeah, envelope as in not a box - out came a book.  The peep was all excited and whatnot.  She didn't jump up in the air and do a three-sixty before landing, like I do when I'm really excited, but I could tell she was pretty pleased to receive this particular book.  You might even say she was pleased as punch.  Nip punch, perhaps.

Anywho...  I took a closer look at this book and said to myself, "Oh no!  Not another cookbook!  Not another one of those Gooseberry Patch cookbooks!"  You see, the peep just loves her Gooseberry Patch cookbooks.  I'm not allowed to sit on them or anything.  Other books, I'm allowed to sit upon, lie upon, pretty much do anything I want upon but Gooseberry Patch cookbooks?  If I should happen to breath upon one of them, the peep will freak.  I'm not a cat who appreciates such limitations being placed upon me.  Nope, I don't appreciate limitations one bit.  And I could just tell that with this book being a Gooseberry Patch cookbook, there would be limitations coming my way.  Strike number three.

Okay, I have to admit.  It's a really pretty cookbook and all.  It's called The Christmas Table, or something like that.  I'm all for Christmas so at least it has a good theme.  I've got to give credit where credit is due, you know.  But I've got bigger issues than this weighing upon my pretty little sterling silver tabby shoulders.  Do cats have shoulders?  Hmmm....  don't know the answer to that one.

Anywho, the next thing is that I'm hearing all about how in this The Christmas Table cookbook there is not one, but two of the peep's recipes.  For crying out loud!  I'm probably gonna be hearing about this for a mouse's age.  Life isn't fair, you know?  It really isn't.  And just to add insult to injury - and I'm pretty sure the peep did this on purpose, the recipes are for veggies!  That's right, not an ounce of meat in either one.  Nothing to interest a cat whatsoever.  One recipe is for Mushroom Pizza and the other is for some kind of Mediterranean Soup.  No chicken, no beef, no fish...  no nothing...  I bet they both have onions in them, though.  Yeah, the peep just loves cooking with those onions.  CATS CAN'T EAT ONIONS!  They would make me sick!  Does the peep never think about me in these matters?  Apparently not.

Oh, and one final little issue...  no, it's a big issue, I think.  Just who in the mouses does this peep o' mine think she is?  I'm the author in this family!  I'm the one with the award-winning blog and all.  Sure, she's published a few short stories and whatnot but she still hasn't finished that stupid old mystery of hers.  Haven't seen it published or anything...  unlike my blog which I manage to publish twice a week...  EVERY WEEK!  Hmmph!  She's trying to hone in on my territory, I think.  And you know how we cats feel about our territories.  I'm gonna have to do something about this.  Gonna have to do something mighty quick.

Peep #1, you're on notice...  three strikes and you're out!

38 comments:

  1. My Mommie has never seen these cookbooks, I will have to send her over to Amazon.

    ReplyDelete
  2. How exciting fur your mom! Of corrss I duzn't hear abowt any meats in thoze recipees but Iz sure they iz delishush fur they hoomans. Purrs, Pandy

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh Nerissa - I feel sorry for you. Your ooman is clearly out of control. You'd better rein her in before it's too late (which it might already be if she's already published her short stories.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Even though my mom was all, mmmm, mushroom pizza! I think this is all too much for you, Nerissa! You deserve one or nine new toys for this nonsense!

    (Congrats to your mom! My mom made me add this.)

    ReplyDelete
  5. geeze, with all that celebrating she's doing you'd think she would at least bring you home a box.. and offer you a little nip punch!!


    *whisper* congrats on being published

    ReplyDelete
  6. Heck with the onions.Srooms are almost as good as hammm!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. That does look like a good book. But you should definitely be allowed to sit on it. What can it hurt?? We love mysteries so let us know when the Mom gets hers done. Good for her to do that.

    ReplyDelete
  8. NO MEAT? And its called a "cook" book"? Mebbe it levels a wobbly table...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Recipes for the Christmas table that has NO MEAT? No TURKEY? No HAM? That's not right!

    ReplyDelete
  10. No Meat! you say ???

    Oh Dear,,,, dis iz Not good!,fur you at least ^..^ maybe dere'z cheeze ...... ^..^ on da pizza.....

    We sure feelz sorry fur you Nerissa ^..^

    ♥♥headbumpz♥♥

    ReplyDelete
  11. Nerissa, you run a taut ship and you have laid out clear rules and consequences. There will be no farther indiscretions!

    ReplyDelete
  12. oh no, veggies, yuck.

    no box, major sin.

    next time, you'll get a box.

    emma and buster

    ReplyDelete
  13. You are going to have to keep a very close eye on your peep. Concats to her for getting her recipes published though.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hmm. Who eats mushroom pizza and soup for Krissymouse anyway???

    Still, it is nice that her recipes gotted published. To celebrate, she should get out a nice hunk of salmon or steak or something, and make a nice dinner for the cats. Yep. That's what she should do. If she were a good Mom.

    ReplyDelete
  15. It would be good to see recipes for humans, but which cats could also eat and would like.
    Human can't finish?
    Share with cat!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I can see you’re underwhelmed by your peep’s fame, Nerissa! Cut her some slack, old chap, she has so little fun ;)

    PS Congrats on being published peep

    ReplyDelete
  17. I think you have made your expectations very clear...keep them in line, don't let up on the staff...just a thought

    ReplyDelete
  18. My human has a few dozen cookbooks and the funny thing is... she almost NEVER cooks! Seriously, she and the microwave are BFFs. Except for when she goes out on the microwave and picks up something from one of the local eateries. So when a package arrives here, it is either for 1) me or 2) her boyfriend. Almost never for her, and generally not a cookbook (she has wised up and stopped buying them).

    ReplyDelete
  19. concats to your peep about the cookbook.......I do have to ask, "two posts a week?" Get crackin'!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Our Mommy loves those cookbooks. She isn't published in them, though.
    We issue demerits here. During our "bored" meetings. MOL! Our Mommy gets lots of demerits!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Well, that's very exciting for your peep to have her recipes including in a cookbook so TRY to at least LOOK enthused about it! I know how you feel though....my Mom has a published mystery novel, and has published a lot of her other stuff and she gets all excited about that kind of thing while I just stare at her and say "BIG DEAL!!".....After all, I blog every single day and nobody gives me a big pat on the back (head maybe but back no). Sigh. We have it tough don't we? Somehow I think you would have felt better about this whole event if that book had arrived in a nice comfortable BOX - right????

    Kitty Hugs, Sammy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup, a box would have helped a whole lot... sighs

      Delete
  22. Nerissa, I'd love for you to come over! We could hang out and totally complain about our incompetent Humans. DO you have a tunnel or an Ess or something you could use to transport yourself?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We're talking simple teleportation here, right? No time travel necessary... purrs

      Delete
  23. Inthink that us pretty exciting for yor peep! Now she has no excuse for not cooking you up something yummy!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I feel your pain, but I totally love your blog. My peep gets confused about parcels, so she makes sure if it has anything to do with me, my name is on it. You might suggest that to your peep. And it is helpful if UPS knows about it, too! Your friend, Fisher

    ReplyDelete
  25. My brother Setzer was a street cat so boxes became important to him. He would rather sleep in a box than a cushy cat bed! Hey is there gonna be Christmas in July???? You would get a box then Nerissa=^Y^=

    ReplyDelete
  26. Poor lil Nerissa, you cutie pie.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Nerissa sweetie, I hope you're not plotting your revenge! It's very nice to be published and I think your peep deserves a paw on the back.

    ReplyDelete
  28. You're so sweet. Happy weekend to you:-)
    Hugs from Pernille

    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  29. HUGE Concatulations to your meowmy for publishing! I'm so happy for her. Make sure you give her extra purrs for her accomplishment, Nerissa. It's not so bad sharing the limelight with another author.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Mom Julie has a Gooseberry Patch cookbook!! I think it's something about blue ribbon recipes from diners around the country, blah, blah--not important.

    What is important is that your peep has not one but two recipes published!! Yay! We are definitely going to look up the book next time we're book-looking :)

    By the way, Nerissa, I did a bunch of mea culpas for forgetting to acknowledge your award to me. Hope you forgive me.

    Tom xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No need to apologize. Nothing to forgive! purrs

      Delete
  31. Congrats on being published! You are all so sweet any my own human has a Gooseberry Patch cookbook, too. -a Christmas one with lots of good human food, she says.

    ReplyDelete
  32. We are happy to hear that your person has two recipes published, congrats to her!!

    We hope the next parcel is a nice big box, just for you, Nerissa!

    Mindy
    Moe
    Cookie
    Mike

    ReplyDelete
  33. Maybe you should make your Human finish her mystery book? We loves a good mystery!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Congratulations on the cookbook! How exciting! I'm sorry though, Nerissa that there is no meat! :)

    You should consider offering your Mom's book for sale on your sidebar! Maybe she'll let you have some commission and you can buy yourself some fancy nip toys!

    ReplyDelete

I love hearin' from my pals. I absolutely LOVE it! Just saying...